


Frostbite

by Subcortical (Hypercortical)



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, AvPD, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Elsanna - Freeform, Emotions, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Incest, Sibling Incest, Social Anxiety, avpd!Elsa, incest shame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:46:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29494527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypercortical/pseuds/Subcortical
Summary: It's a new age for Arendelle, months into Elsa's reign.Anna explores her more interesting feelings towards Elsa while struggling with a fear of abandonment.Elsa struggles to meet the expectations of a queen as her anxious and avoidant feelings dominate her.
Relationships: Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Frostbite

So sweet and so sick. Something so incomprehensible. How could Elsa inspire such a beautiful monstrosity inside of her? How could she not? Withdrawn at the head of the ballroom, Despite her icy air and lifeless stare, Elsa couldn’t help but radiate magnificence. But everyone can see that. Everyone should see that. The question is, what would compel a sibling to feel something so much more sinister. Months of intrigue and agony since they were reunited. She’d never been so content as during the prior months basking in a relationship she worried was dead for so long. Late nights together with Elsa, sweet smiles from Elsa, and even a few hugs when Anna was lucky. In that time, such a serene sisterly love twisted into a searing desire that she couldn’t deny.

Nobles, Clergymen, and wealthy merchants of Arendelle circle and swirl about. Talk and laughter slip through the cool air against some vague sequence of musical notes. Of actual salience, the chocolate — imported at great expense — was smooth and dark with notes of caramel or sometimes salt, and all sorts of exciting mixtures. Tonight the draw of these sensations were all that matched Elsa’s raw gravity, and thank god for them because it’s rude to stare.

Kristoff would have been here. Of course now that they’re ‘just friends’, It’s apparently not worth his while to leave his ‘comfort’ zone to come dance. So, Anna just resigns herself to waltz with the snack bar. But this is a Ball. Who doesn’t dance at a ball? Certainly the princess should. And… perhaps the queen would? 

The boredom had long since set in. The chocolate was all gone; who knows where. Nothing remained to distract her from Elsa; from the thought of being close to her, touching her as they dance; from the eye contact they just made through the crowd. A sharp breath, a skipped beat, and a surge of entitlement sent Anna directly across the room. Weaving not so gracefully between body after body. She left the crowd to stand beside Elsa. Closer. A little Closer. Just Close enough to take in her sweet scent. Sweaty but sweet. Just Sweet enough to get Anna’s blood rushing, pulse thrumming. The idea of dancing with Elsa was so much more enticing than she expected. Impressionist memories surfaced within her: warmth, butterflies, tingling. Every feeling which contributed to this salacious addiction to her sister. A much deeper draw than she’d felt with Kristoff or anyone else. This isn’t a bad idea, It’s innocent enough. Nobody should think anything of it.

For the first time all evening, there was a minute shift in Elsa’s mask. For just a moment when Anna came to her side it looked like the slight, stony smile she’d worn all night cracked to reveal a sliver of genuine joy. Elsa’s gloved hand came up to check the state of her silky platinum blonde hair, which sat in an intricate braided updo. Anna just watched. Her deep blue eyes, her soft lips, her- well yeah, everything. she felt like such a dirty person when she thought like that. Imagining the disgust Elsa or anyone else in the room might feel if they could see what she was hiding. Suddenly time had gone a bit far for their mutual silence.

“Hey… there.” Anna started faster than she could think.

“Hi”, Elsa barely vocalized. 

“Elsa, you can’t just stand on the sidelines all night, come have some fun.”

Elsa Clears her throat, “I’m perfectly fine like this, but thank you.”

“C’mon, you should try the- uh…” 

“Oh! I would love to try some of that chocolate, do you think you could bring me some?” Elsa’s eyes lit up.

“Well. You see. I can’t. Because... someone ate all of it.” Anna looked at the floor, pursing her lips. 

“Oh. Someone?” Just like that, the mask fell. Elsa’s whole face lit up like a vibrant sunrise. One of those beautiful sights Anna went Thirteen years without seeing. She Held her breath, taking it in, until it was eclipsed by a concealed hand held up in front of her smile. Behind her hand, she shifted back into a statue-esq quality. Not something she did thirteen years ago.

“Elsa, come dance with me!” she said, just a little too loud. Stepping in front, with her hand out for Elsa to take. 

“I don’t dance”, the corners of her mouth twitched upwards. ‘Just a little too loud’ was loud enough to alert some nearby Attendees who were excited to finally see the queen dance (or really do anything at all). Attention spread like lightning. In a moment everyone who wasn’t dancing, and a few who had been, had their eyes on Anna and Elsa. Anna kept her hand extended. Hope in her heart. Excitement welling up.

Elsa was frozen. Her brow sunk. Mouth clenched shut. Her eyes locked on Anna’s extended hand as her fists balled up tight enough to vibrate. Anna’s heart started to sink. An ounce of fear setting in. The last thing she wanted was to anger Elsa. Stochastic chanting began to pop through the frigid air. “Dance!” they cheered, approaching a synchrony. Seconds passed and Elsa hadn’t moved an inch. Why is she just standing there? 

“Elsa…” Anna pleaded. Prompting Elsa to swivel and stride out of the ballroom. The floor frosted in her wake. Anna couldn’t move. The Ballroom went silent for what felt like a minute. It was honestly shocking. Breaking out of her trance, Anna fled in search of Elsa. Really not much of a search. Just a jog to Elsa’s Bedroom. Turning the corner just in time to see Elsa slam her door. Anna felt her heart stop and a lump form in her throat. After a pause, she set down the hall past the paintings of her royal ancestry, one by one, up to the loving gaze of her late parents. 

As she approached the door between her and Elsa, her breath felt restricted. Her arms felt like lead as she reached to knock on the door.

“Elsa?” she choked, barely vocalized. No response. Her eyes stung. It’s happening again. Such a familiar situation that she thought they’d left behind for good. Elsa said she wouldn’t, said she cared about Anna, said she never really wanted to avoid her all those years. 

“Elsa, please don’t shut me out again. I’m sorry.” She said through a thick sob. Anxiety rising. A sickened feeling sets in as the world starts to feel thick and heavy. Flashes of frustration leapt in and out of her imagination; screaming; punching the door; punching herself. Can’t breathe. Can’t believe she deluded herself. Anna Held herself and shuffled away. 

* * *

Just ten more minutes. It’s what her advisors told her and it’s what keeps replaying in her head. Before it was fifteen, and thirty before that. Whatever; it all felt like eternity to Elsa. The ballroom full of humming and laughter. Eyes bobbing up and down and side to side, threatening to look her way. She stood at the head of the room where it was most comfortable, having so few people. She stood. What else?

Thankfully, the duke they were courting for trade recently turned in for the night. The grand duke of Ethica, a freshly sovereign country littered with Saltpeter deposits. Even before the late king and queen closed everything up, Arendelle had a long history of minimalist trade and isolationism. It kept Arendelle out of conflict at the cost of their technological development. This particular deal with Ethica would be an undeniable opportunity to develop their military technology. Their lack of guns and advanced artillery left them frighteningly vulnerable. As grateful as she was for such an amazing offer, the stress of staying presentable and available for someone so important was eating her alive. 

Elsa noticed Anna across the room, devouring the last of the chocolates in a trance-like state. In a few seconds, Anna made eye contact and then made her way across the floor. As Anna sidled up beside her, Elsa felt a wave of relief. It was comforting just to have someone more familiar near her, Cutting through the hostility she felt from the hordes of eyes, ears, and noses slithering about. Anna edged closer. Elsa wondered why Anna wasn’t out there with her stupid boyfriend — I mean Kristoff — But only for a moment before her mind was lifted by the floral scent ~~and the smell of Anna’s delicious body odor~~ emanating from beside her. Elsa suddenly conducted her train of thought away from Anna.

They spoke a bit. Anna urged her to do things she can’t do. Anna almost apparated in front of her, offering her hand to dance. Obviously she wouldn’t do it, but the thought did endear her. Her imagination briefly floated through a sequence. The two of them alone together on the ballroom floor, Shuffling and swaying in sweet noxious circles. Close enough there was no room to doubt that someone loved her. Close enough she could sense the dilation in Anna’s lake-blue eyes and smell the soap in her wavy red hair. Close enough ~~to starvingly kiss her smooth rosy lips~~ to softly kiss the bangs on her forehead, because she wished so terribly to be able to express her love to Anna as a sister.

It all collapsed back into reality as Elsa grew aware that others were aware of her. Suddenly she was subject to an attentional blitzkrieg all over the room, even from her own people. Her advisors and servants bombarded her with knowing smirks. They were waiting for this. For something she couldn’t handle. They saw her all the time and knew of her incompetence better than anyone else. Advisors and nobility from Ethica remained as well. Now they were seeing her. Expecting her to do something normal that literally anybody should be able to do. They would be thinking of her. They would speak to the great duke. So many eyes, with so many ideas floating around behind them, blocked off from Elsa.

The world grew thick and moist. Elsa was moist actually. A piercing sweat breaking out from every pore. She stared at Anna’s hand. Head empty. Can’t look anywhere else, least of all directly into the abyssal eyes of this cosmic horror. Head empty. Her heart tremored like it might burst, so unbelievably fast.

Stochastic chanting began to pierce through the air. “Dance!” they screeched, approaching a hauntingly synchronous equilibrium. 

Vision vignetting. She could pass out in front of everyone. Or die of arrhythmia in front of everyone. But she couldn’t just leave, she’d look ridiculous. She noticed the floor icing beneath her. She felt her hands shake and realized how balled up they were. Then the tremble of her legs. On second thought, she could only leave because she _did_ look ridiculous. 

Anna spoke her name, and she fled. Through the halls of Arendelle castle to the one place she knew was always safe. Losing her composure the moment she was out of sight. Even her moderate pace left her huffing and gasping for air. She gangled her way down the final hall, hardly noticing the intimidating gaze in the portraiture of the late king and queen of Arendelle. She rushed through her door, and then stopped. Relief flooding her heart. An absolutely intense wave of bliss seized her for just a moment before washing back out exposing deep resentment and a flow of tears. Tide goes in, tide goes out. It’s like this every time.

The comfort of being alone and safe after something like that has such a psychoactive effect on her, she almost wants to be alone forever. Then the guilt and self-hate come. She’s supposed to be the queen of Arendelle. A leader. How can she lead like this? How can she be too broken to do what she was born to do? As the thoughts circulated through her cortex, just as her body was relaxing after it felt like she completed a triathlon, there was a knock at the door directly behind her. 

A bolt of anxiety extended from a heavy beat of her heart, and out across her limbs. It was Anna, obviously. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her right now. That whole scene was mortifying. And now her throat seized up, of course. What would she even say? Anna spoke, and she could hear the upset in her voice. The apology. She should let her in. This is awful. She can’t let her in. Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, holding her head tightly around her ears with her hands.

_Go away, please, Goawaygoawaygoaway, I’m sorryimsoryy._

The thoughts drilled through her mind, semantic synapses firing like a loose jackhammer. She shut everything out, trying to turn off her senses. After a few moments nothing happened. Elsa calmed down. Her mind slowed and came back under her influence. The guilt remained. She opened the door to let Anna in, but as she expected Anna had already given up. 


End file.
